Two Weeks Later: What Youth Football Just Taught Me

It’s been two weeks since the final whistle. Croix wrapped his first year of flag. Lincoln finished his first year of tackle. I told myself it was “just football.” That was a lie. This season punched me in the face—in the best way—and reminded me why youth sports matter when they’re done right.

1) Mentally Gassed (and why)

Coaching 5th-grade tackle and 3rd-grade flag in the same week is a whiplash special. One hour I’m in “hit, drive, finish” mode—pads popping, eyes up, near-shoulder, wrap, and run your feet—and ten minutes later I’m with 8- and 9-year-olds still sorting out left from right.

It wasn’t just drills. It was the invisible load: equipment checks, fitting pads, field setup, weather calls, volunteer wrangling, snack duty, practice plans, and late-night board messages to fix the broken crap in our process. By Week 3 my voice was shredded and my brain felt like a two-minute drill that never ended.

How we ran it:

• Tackle (90 minutes X3): dynamic warm-up → install → indy (footwork, block shed, ball security) → group → team → scrimmages (against other teams)

• Flag (60 minutes X1): alignment and spacing → pursuit angles → leverage on the hip → pull technique.

True story: during flag, I barked “Lincoln—run it again!” and only after the poor kid started sprinting did I realize he wasn’t my Lincoln—just another Lincoln. He still got the reps. I got humbled.

2) Youth-Sports Parents (Oh Lawd)

We had a lot of badass parents who got the mission: coach them hard, love them harder, and stay consistent with discipline. Not every program—or parent—operated that way.

Parents here’s the HARD TRUTH: if the standards aren’t reinforced at home (bedtime, screens, hydration, nutrition, chores, respect), progress stalls. Then playing time shrinks. That’s not politics—it’s performance and safety.

What we set before Game 1:

• Standards: be on time, mouthpiece in, sprint between drills, finish the play, be coachable, and encourage teammates.

• Consequences: fewer game reps, conditioning, or a seat until you meet the standard.

• Communication: 24-hour cool-off after games; talk to coaches, not the group chat; and ask your kid two questions before you ask about snaps—“Did you give full effort?” and “Were you coachable?”

Fairness isn’t equal snaps. Fairness is earned opportunity. If you want equal everything, that’s a different league. On this field we reward effort, discipline, and doing your damn job.

3) Development Warms the Heart

The scoreboard was kind: tackle went 6–0!; flag went 3–3 (three pick-sixes per loss will humble you fast). But the real win was growth on fast-forward.

• A kid who wanted no part of contact in Week 1 became a rock you couldn’t move by Week 6—base under him, hands inside, and a finish we could trust.

• One of our best athletes killed the freelancing, learned the playbook, and started lining up other kids without being asked.

• Edge defenders figured out leverage and contained instead of chasing.

• Our flag QB went from “catch and chuck” to using cadence, a little play-action, and ball fakes to open windows.

My boys leveled up too.

• Croix: quicker hips, smarter pursuit, and nasty little flag-grabs when it counts.

• Lincoln: first clean open-field tackle; better pad level through contact; leadership creeping in at the right moments, even had the game winning tackle in the Championship Game!

Parents told me their kids were practicing footwork in the living room and sketching plays at the kitchen table. That’s the good shit!

Photo placements:

Gratitude

Huge thanks to our assistant coaches, the board, and the parents who bought in. When adults align, kids fly. Simple as that.

Let’s trade notes

If you’re a coach, parent, ref, or board member, what actually helped your kids improve this season? Hit reply and share one thing you’d keep and one thing you’d cut. I’m collecting the best ideas for a future Let’s Get Real episode on youth sports done right.

— Stoy